My Fall From Grace

Just wanted to show support for the Diabetic Sister. Want to wish them well with there walk and I will wear Orange on the 20th as a matter of fact I am going to order me a t-shirt.  Wish I could do the walk but it is to far away for me.

orange:will is a national campaign to raise the public’s awareness of the unique challenges faced by women with diabetes and to establish orange as the official color of women’s diabetes. You can show your support by wearing orange on May 20, 2012, by walking in the orange:will Diabetes Awareness Walk, or by donating to support the Walk.

I have been thinking on something, harder than I probably  should have (I do that most of the time ) but I found a sign today and it  think it gives me the answer I seek.

DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS LOOKING

SING LIKE ON ONE CAN HEAR YOU

LOVE LIKE YOU CAN’T BE HURT

I like this philosophy and I love the dance. My singing could use some work,  Ah! the mystery.

Webster’s Dictionary states that a Mother is “To give birth to, to give rise to : produce, to care for or protect like a mother. acting as or providing parental stock.   Hum?  makes you think doesn’t like where did they come up with that!  A lot of things go into making a mother and not every mother is the same.  Just as what each one of us think makes a good mother is not the same.  I remember telling my first husband (son’s father) that what I wanted to be more than anything was someones Mommy.  That is not to say that I knew what that entailed but I knew I wanted someone to call me mommy someday.   And he did and I am as sure as I am setting here that he called me a lot of other things too!  Hey I was only doing my job you see.  Mommying is hard!  In shaping someone life you can really screw them up if you are not careful, I know it is really frowned upon if you drop them on their heads (of course I didn’t!).   When you sign up to be a mom you have to check the box marked BRAVE because that is a must and the one marked FORGIVING, RESILIENT, FAST THINKING, RESPONSIBLE, KIND, LOVING, FEARLESS!  I could go on but you get the picture.  All these things and many more make up a good mom.   Not everyone can be a mom and some don’t want to be and that is ok.   I have known some good moms and some great moms, all different but all wanting the same thing for their kids to be safe and happy and healthy.   We don’t always get what we want but  we all prevail.  What I wanted to do with this was to wish everyone a WONDERFUL AND HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

My mother passed away last Saturday at 10:58 pm from spending 11 years in a nursing home with alzheimers.  This is probably the first time in 11 years she knows it is Mother’s Day which will make it special.  And  As Forest Gump would say” that is all I have to say about that”.

Oh I did make it to be a Mommy.  I have been called Mommy, Mother and MOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! (those teen years ;>)  not perfect just mom.  But my mother’s day prayer is that I have been at the very least a good one.

I wish to apologize for not writing more.  I could say I have been busy and I have but it goes deeper than that I am afraid.   The combination of losing my very close friend and the problems with my feet have just got me in a blue funk.  Each time I think I am rising out of it , I slid back in.   So of late  I have been trying a tried and true method to alleviate my blues.  I have been planting flowers and redecorating a few things.  Playing in the dirt always did make me happy (must be a childhood thing)  so I have been keeping myself busy.   I am going to another doctor on the 17th of May about my feet but I am not getting my hopes up to high.  Been shot down a couple of times now so going to keep it on the down low.   I have been busy with the support group just about got speakers for each month still have to fill Novembers date yet but I am happy with what we have got.  This month it is Novo Nordisk and the Diabetes Academy, I am so looking forward to seeing what this entails.  It sounds like a lot of fun.   I have  some really great speaker for the rest of the year also.   I am working with some  great  people I really enjoy being with and that makes this even more fun getting myself and others educated on the perils of diabetes.  I am so hoping to shake these moody blues soon, I don’t like feeling this way and I know others have things much worst than I (God bless them) guess someone just needs to kick me in the seat of the pants.  Haven’t been able to do that myself.  Lord I hate this disease and what it does to people.

Dear Feet, (Extremities, hoof , pad, paw, appendage, limb or whatever you are calling yourself)

I have a bone to pick with you.  Maybe I shouldn’t use pick and bone in the same sentences.  No offense but what is your problem?  For 8 years now I have use you to help control my Diabetes and we have done well.   We have work as a well oiled machine. But lately pal you have let me down!   You continue to be a Pain in my ankle and it has got to stop!   We have to work on this , I just can not do it without you.   You always put the spring in my step, been the  freedom of my escape, you make the I cant’s disappear.  You are what holds me up on gloomy days and skips me when the sun shines, and drives me to write you when you are not doing your job.  I am appealing to you for help.   Our blood glucose is slowly slipping higher each day while you just sit there and ache and complain.   I have took you to the doctor, got you meds, gave you treatments, new comfy shoes, soaked you rubbed you and treated you like royalty.

Now I must appeal to your sole, I need your support so you are going to have to buck up and take it like a man (or a screaming girl what ever)  WE HAVE A JOB TO DO!!!    Please Feet Don’t Fail me now!!!!

Wanted to put this out in the blog sphere just in case anyone missed it.  Want to wish them all the luck in the world!

DiabetesSisters & Novo Nordisk Proudly Present

The 2012 orange:will

Diabetes Awareness Walk 

Get Ready, Set, WALK!  May 20th is quickly approaching, so if you have not registered for the  2012 Orange:Will Diabetes Awareness Walkplease take a moment to do so.  Why should you register? Because it is the only walk in the nation devoted to raising the public’s awareness about women’s unique challenges with diabetes and celebrating the women in our lives who are thriving with diabetes. Even if you cannot attend in person, you can show your support by registering as a Virtual Walker. By registering for the walk, you are telling the nation that women with diabetes are important! (Consider how many people participate in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk and the message that number sends!) Not to mention that our sponsors have donated some really great prizes for the top fundraisers!

For more information go to  http://diabetessisters.org

Well it is official I did the 5k, against my husband’s wishes I DID IT.   But I have to confess that the first 2.50 miles was not bad I kept an 15 minute per mile pace (according to my Nike+ program) but found that I started getting tired after that, which made my right heel start to hurt somewhat.   So as I approached the final and largest hill (there are 3 hills in this track) I felt that climbing that could put more strain on my feet than I needed at this point in my recovery.   The people putting on the 5k are good friends of my step-son and daughter-in-law so they were aware that I am just  coming off foot problems, so one of the girls driving the golf cart around ask me is I was doing alright.  I promptly jumped in her cart and told her to take me to the top of the hill, and asked her to not tell my husband which she agreed.  She then dropped me at the top of the hill where I continued to walk to the finish line.  My time I really can’t remember, all I can remember is that I did what I wanted to do and knew when it was time to stop pushing.   I thank everyone for there help and concerns, but I had a wonderful fun filled day and I know that in time I will be able to walk my 5ks  again.  If I live through this recovery period UGH! !!!!!   Oh and yes I finally fessed up to my husband, who in turn was thankful I didn’t try to push it to far ;>) SILLY BOY!

My fellow 5kers  My sister Lori and my son Shaun

Ah, it is that day of the year that can either make you feel loved, appreciated or it can make you feel lonely, crappy and just out of sorts with the world and your life.   I have been on both sides of the scale on this one.   Years ago after losing  my husband and was trussed upon  the  dating world again, Valentines was one of the hardest to get through.   Hating the dating seen very much my social life was lacking so therefore that left me alone on the Big Red Day.   Being a one was not of my choosing seemed to make it even worse.   So I would make it a day to give a friend something special, someone who was alone like me.   After awhile I found that was the GIVING that made the day mean so much more to me.    Now I do Valentines day with the grand kids and you know that has to be fun!  But in closing I will say that I did have one extra special Valentines day when I was totally surprised by someone special in my life that I will never forget, and it will be in my heart for many Valentines days to come.    So Happy Valentines Day to all!